Alpha keeps delivering messages about how God does not judge us; he accepts our faults as part of natural diversity. Alpha wants us to see each other with the same clemency. Yeah, but I'm not ready to give up my frustration with people's bad behaviour. When someone cuts in front of my car, doesn't keep their word, or can't be bothered to be nice, I still get annoyed no matter how much I tell myself that people are functioning with different levels of intelligence and different burdens.
I try to be transparent: "God, look at me - I'm tired of being frustrated with other people but I don't think I can give it up." I hold this feeling of pain, silently open, and wait. I feel anger, hurt, and even a desire for revenge pass through me. I just feel all this and wait. Then a deeper feeling reveals itself. I am tired. I have had a lot of practical struggles in recent years. I am really really tired.
Suddenly it seems I have a reason for why I don't want to give up my frustration. I am too tired right now to want to be tolerant. It would be a lot easier if I had a good rest. This rings true, but I still have some healing to do - to let the tiredness go. Sometime I'll visit this issue again - same method - just feeling the pain, without hiding, and let it unravel.